jump to navigation

Spread 272 – Distress Inks September 13, 2015

Posted by Orly in Uncategorized.

272 Distress Inks

In his talk yesterday David Whyte was describing the different types of people who take up the route of The Camino de Santiago in Spain on a quest for spiritual growth. One of the types was “the one who is bullied to join the more eager one”. Bullied was an interesting word choice as you would think who takes such a long pilgrimage route without wholeheartedly wanting to do it? I had to think very hard about that. I got stuck with that among other things. As usual it always comes back to the self-absorbed, me. Aren’t we all? I thought to myself, I never want to be bullied to do anything as wonderful as someone else claims it be, so why would another want that? I have my own inspiration, rhythm, timing, time to sink into the existing, and time to innovate. Then I was further thinking, I am myself a bully. With my eagerness I bully people I love into doing things that I insist would be “incredible” for them. I swam in my experiential pool for a while more and found pattern and examples of me bullying my kids, other family members, my friends, students, strangers even, rushing them, cornering them into “beautiful” spaces that they may not be ready to explore or experience, and may never be ready. That made me very sad to realize this about myself. Many of us do this to each other on a much much larger and more aggressive scale, in much more harmful ways; Culture to culture, religion to religion, gender to gender, and so on. It’s much more subtle than the kind of bullying we know of. The kind that goes on in closed doors or between nations and continents. Yet very harmful I believe. I am going to work on it…I am going to try to mind and tend to my own business. My journaling, my trusted companion, can take all my bullying and all the inks of my distress…humans on the other hand, not so much.


1. Betsie mathews - September 13, 2015

We stop bullying when we realise that everything in every moment is perfect as is. Thank you Orly for offering this contemplation.

2. pauladevi - September 13, 2015

Wonderful post Orli.How appropriate for me to be reading it as the sun begins to set beginning our ראש השנש. Personal introspection, sniffing out parts of ourselves that we never connect to, owning and transforming them is the true hero’s (גיבור/גיבורה) journey, אבולוציה של הנשמה.
גמ אני הבנתי שאני ״בולי״ באותם הדרכים שאת מתארת – ואולי
.😕 יותר שעדיין נסתרים ממני.
Tov, my iPad is not cooperating with the flow of two different languages.
I always felt it was a generous sharing on my part to want the people I love and others crossing my path to enjoy the fruit of my good experiences. How the ego (and having been raised on kibbutz) fools us. I’m much better now that i stay on my side of the street but sometimes a litle voice 😈 whispers …
שהכוח ורצון ימשיך להיות איתנו בכל הדרך.
שיהיה לכם שנה טובה מלאות בברכות.

3. zencrap - September 13, 2015

me too .. I’m re-forming :)~

4. jhinton129 - September 14, 2015

Just a thought but maybe your bullying could be a desire to share your passion. I can relate; however, I am also learning to take no for an answer or to look closer for more subtle signs of no. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

5. quinnjacqueline - September 14, 2015

Great, honest post. Thank you. Recently, I too have sought to only ‘know best’ what is right for myself rather than impose my views on others…stepping back from always being in control. I had signed up for the workshop that you were going to be teaching in the UK next year, and am sorry that it was cancelled…hope to work with you one day …..

6. Leslie van der Heide - September 14, 2015

I understand how you related yourself after you listened to his talk. Other words than bullying is manipulation. Then I read article saying that I must come up for myself, be myself, live your passion. How can I do that? To get what I want or to get on the path, I need to ask. Isn’t asking a sort type of nice manipulation? If I don’t ask, how will you know what I am after?

7. iHanna - September 14, 2015

In your world other kinder words for bullie might be teaching, inspiring and nudging. It all depends on how it is done, and with what intention. To want to help a friend or a student to stretch and learn is not to bully, and I for one would welcome the help! 🙂

emilyclineart - September 14, 2015

I agree, IHanna. I was thinking I’m kinda grateful for Orly’s “bullying” — she’s helped me move out of old habits and go beyond my staid “comfort” zone.

8. wendy lee lynds - September 14, 2015

david whyte has played central to many with his words. i think just how many people have been effected by the poem you brought to us “….upon waking”. heaps of meaning. doesn’t surprise me that seeing him in person, hearing his words and soaking up the atmosphere led you to such insight into your own world. i love this, my friend. and i love you, too! xoxoxo

9. Judy Jordan - September 15, 2015

Very interesting post. Reminds me to be mindful of the nuanced differences between being genuinely helpful and going over the line.

10. Bonnie - September 15, 2015

I guess it could be a fine line between wanting to share/spread enthusiasm and bullying. Worth thinking about. : )

11. Hastypearl - November 7, 2015

Well said. I found that repentance to those in my life,mthat I had well meaningly bullied, was welcomed with the open arms of forgiveness. Unity restored! Recognizing that I had behaved that way opened doors to everything! Why is it so hard for us, right? 🙂 Laura

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: